Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Michael Jackson: 3 Healing Lessons

Reviewing this video from February 24, 1993, reinforces what I intuitively believe are the 3 lessons Michael J's life teaches us:

1. Heal your Inner Child and "Heal The World" Michael says: "My childhood was completely taken away from me - no Christmas, birthdays - from the age of five..."
Lesson #1: find the "frozen little child within" and set him or her free. Why? Because if you DON'T you risk that child running - or eventually ruining - your life now. Unconscious programs and beliefs set up before we are 5/6 can hijack our lives NOW...keeping us frustrated, in pain. Michael was clearly in perpetual pain (emotional and physical) by the time he died -

2. Michael said: "What we need to learn from children isn't childish" His own playfulness, creative brilliance as reinforced in this review of his work in the '90s - was a staggering tribute to a soul born with breath-taking talent and gifts he showered on the world like his love of pageantry/dramatic visuals/dance etc.

Lesson#2 - Heal the Damaged Child - but Cultivate, Love and Nurture your Creative Spiritual Child - he or she is a source of endless inspiration, beauty and love.

3. Heal the Inner Shadow Black vs White conflict within you - failure to own your "dark side" can result in illness, depression, low self worth, failure.
LESSON #3: Only when you dig deep and re-claim the gold in the dark mine of your shadow will you release your power and passion to shine in the world an alchemy of gold, rich in inner PEACE, SPIRITUAL CONNECTION AND LOVE FOR SELF AND OTHERS.

RIP Michael

Saturday, June 27, 2009


Michael Jackson's death can teach us something to help and heal. What can we learn from the seeming excesses, addictions and sadness of a life of gifted potential ending in misery - not unlike Elvis Presley?

What does Jackson represent in each one of us? How does his grotesque saga of trying to escape his essential looks (and self?) with plastic surgery and skin lightening reflect in me and you?

His addictions – including overspending – are legendary. Only a month ago in May 2009 his former lawyer Raymone Bain went public to sue Jackson for millions, revealing how he splurged recklessly on statues of Peter and Pan and kids while laden with debt.

According to papers filed at the District Court for the US District of Columbia, the Thriller hit-maker filled his Neverland ranch with life-size bronze statues of kids playing on slides or dancing while holding hands.

His death reminds me to look within at my own addictions with money, food etc.– in fact the “shadow self” for which addictions are merely a symptom.

Debbie Ford in her book: "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" explains how, consciously or unconsciously, we hide and deny our “dark” sides, rejecting these aspects of our true natures rather than giving ourselves the freedom – and gift – to live authentic lives with all parts of us, dark and light, integrated into a more powerful truthful persona.

When we recognize and reconcile with our rejected parts we find they have rich treasures and gifts to reveal to us. For instance perhaps the Lazy Lout part of you is just thirsting for the Workaholic Warrior you present to the world – to take a much needed break. Perhaps Selfish Susan – the person in your family or group of friends you most judge as despicable because she seems to neglect her kids or family in favor of her passions – is actually reflecting the part of you that needs time out to replenish the dry well within.

So stop judging yourself…reclaim all parts of you for new wholeness and freedom.

Although he was talented and black, Michael Jackson ended up fake “white” and addicted to spending and possibly pain killers – but no spending sprees, drugs or medical face-lifts could ever fulfill the deep hole in him.

I am going deeper inside to find the disowned parts of me – trusting that each aspect I hate or deny in me can lead to my ruin – or hold a gift of golden wisdom and insight that, once owned, can integrate and propel me forward in happiness, love and true wealth.

What you resist persists.

Or as Neal Donald Walsh says in Conversations with God – If you don’t go within, you go without.

Michael may you rest in peace - and teach us by your split "black-white" phobia to integrate - not segregate - our own selves.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

You Can Break-Free Fast

Get free chapters of my book at

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Emotional Freedom...One Step at a Time

My diamond insight for today is... ONE STEP AT A TIME... gets you to the finish line!

Keen to hear feedback from anyone who downloads free chapters of my book at

This time last year I was writing my book - now I am joyously, proudly, showing it to everyone as I now have the first printed copies and awaiting the USA printing to put on Amazon - watch out world for the Amazon best-seller launch! I will also be launching my E-Coaching programme at the same time.

But as I return from Cape Town to our home on the Isle of Wight I remember how this time last year I was painstakingly writing the book and putting my coaching insights into a three-step system.

It reminded me of times I have had to proceed with "baby steps".

Like when I literally crawled like a crab up the biggest sand dune in Namibia. Or more recently up a strenuous mountain in Cape Town to a place called the Elephant's Eye cave in Tokai.

Similarly, despite the many book coaches who tell you to write your book in 72 hours and such like - my book took seven years of practical "walking my talk" and then one year of painstakingly drafting it into a system - book and coaching programme - to pass it forward in an easy-to-grasp formula. The Break-Free Fast Formula.

I use at least 6 different ways to help people break-free fast. But for simplicity, in this book, I focused on explaining the key tool I use: Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) - Tapping with the fingers to release inner blocks or constraints.

This results in freedom from pain, turmoil, confusion or an inner block - often in under 60 minutes!

My goal was to make it easy for both beginners - and coaches and therapists - to use the system. It contains practical case studies so they get my THREE EASY STEPS TO BREAK FREE with a "break-free aha" about how and why they've been stuck.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


In the rainy season in Newlands forest near where I lived in Cape Town, it was "mushroom time" after the rains. Dedicated gourmands and day trippers indulged in the gentle sport of… mushroom hunting, going into the moist leafy places under the trees, ferreting for the fungus that tickles the fancy and fuels the tastebuds.

One day I heard an obvious novice who had just picked up a huge white saucer of a mushroom, stop a passerby for advice. “Oh don’t ask me, “ he said, “ask my wife – she’s an expert in mycology (the study of fungi)”
“Is this an edible one?” he asked her.
“Well…” she said, giving it an expert twirl, “it’s only poisonous if you don’t cook it properly!”

I couldn’t help chuckling to myself as I continued my brisk perambulations that day. As I came across a few interesting specimens myself, I wondered: “When in my life have I eaten potentially “toxic mushroom?” A situation, a person – “potentially poisonous” and all the warning bells go off – but my thinking mind disregards the reality and plunges in for a toxic taste…potentially lethal!

How often do we put off making a change – because we have built up a tolerance for the toxicity of the situation? Like the frog that jumps into the cold pot of water that starts to warm up to a boil – we don’t notice the damage until it’s – almost – too late! We tell ourselves that the pain is only “slight” and we can manage it. After all, there’s some safety and protection in the pot – while jumping out means facing the cold and unknown.

I remember a time – only a few years ago – when I felt I had no choice… and stayed in what became clear to me was an increasingly toxic marriage. It took a fire (which symbolically started in the 20-year marriage bed and destroyed the whole top floor of our home) and physical and emotional breakdown on both sides, before we could stop ingesting the “uncooked” mushroom of our marriage.

After many years of deeply challenging emotional de-toxing to find my authentic self – and my soul – again, I have been given a second chance at life and seven years later remarried to live my perfect life. Day to day, I check out options, knowing instinctively what will serve my well-being and what is poisonous – cooked or uncooked! So ask yourself today: “where in my life am I eating potentially poisonous mushroom? And what action can I choose to do right now to change for my own well-being and peace of mind?

Monday, November 17, 2008


A chapter from my upcoming book reminds us to laugh, chortle and chuckle through today! Doctor's orders!


Did you know you can laugh for no reason, feel upbeat fast and save a fortune on medical bills? You might feel a bit silly at first but the benefits are proven and worth it. For instance,did you know that 20 minutes of hearty laughter is equivalent to 10 minutes on an exercise bike? It's also a wonderful way to erase lines and look younger.

No joking, you can laugh your way to fitness and health of mind, body and heart, like thousands of people worldwide who take the “laugh-a-day” prescription of medical doctor Madan Kataria, famous for pioneering his Laughter Yoga therapy world-wide.

I trained with him as a Laughter Yoga Leader and for two days we belly-laughed till I ached. What a tonic!

I interviewed Dr Kataria and he told me:

"Laughter yoga is a perfect way to laugh and get exercise at the same time. It treats laughter as a body exercise so it’s easy to laugh even if you’re depressed or in a bad mood," he says.

Dubbed the “giggling guru” by The Times of London and featured in Time Magazine, CNN and National Geographic, Dr Kataria, with his wife Madhuna, founded Laughter Yoga more than 12 years ago and they've since seen it spreading like a tonic to more than 50 countries where people practise it in more than 5000 Laughter Clubs, Yoga studios, corporate boardrooms, as well as schools, hospitals and prisons.

The Singapore police have introduced it for their staff,” said Dr Kataria who believes that learning to laugh "for no reason" is the modern day cure-all for both stress - and crime - reduction.

Scientific studies prove the benefits of regular uninhibited laughter for your immune system, heart, energy and vitality. People who are sick or who get sick often should laugh more as medical research shows that laughter strengthens our immune system and helps us to fight off disease, colds, flu and even cancer. Hearty laughter provides an aerobic workout that exercises the heart, diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory and facial muscles.

Laughter yoga workouts include flexing and exercise of the arm, leg, and back muscles. The exercises strengthen facial muscles and reduce wrinkles. Laughter yoga sessions stimulate the lymphatic system and boost our immune system, and can reduce levels of stress poisons in our bodies by 50% or more within an hour. Benefits include improved cardiovascular health and reduced blood pressure. Laughter is used in old age homes and in hospitals around the world to speed healing and improve patients’ mental outlook. It can be especially beneficial to cancer patients.

Growing up one of eight children in a small rural community in India, Kataria says people laughed spontaneously and often, but when he went to Bombay to study medicine, he found that city people need a reason to laugh… a mental understanding of why something is funny.

I call it the difference between happiness and joy,” he says.

Happiness has adult conditions attached and lies in the past or future. By contrast, joyfulness is childlike and present moment." Children laugh 300-400 times a day during their important formative years, but adult laughter has reduced to just 5-10 times a day," says Dr Kataria.

Laughter really is the best medicine because it reduces stress and conflict, within and without, and it is important for ourselves and our modern society that we find ways to laugh more to cope with stress,” he says.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008


Miracles do happen - dreams do come true. I not only met, hugged, and spent a wonderful two days with Joe Vitale and his co-speakers and a wonderful audience at his Miracles Awakening weekend - I also got to be in his Mastermind Group for a memorable evening and ask him to write the foreward to my book, which is currently being edited for its upcoming launch.

For five years I have followed Dr Joe Vitale from across continents, admiring his writing, ideas and spiritual marketing I always visualised how wonderful it would be to sit with him in a mastermind group - real or virtual. To meet and network with him.
But I was in South Africa all this time and he was in the USA.
DREAMS DO COME TRUE - and to prove it: here's the picture on the balcony at the fabulous Catamarin Spa in San Diego taken in September.
I also loved his presentation which I got some of on my Flip and thought his co-presenters on this Miracles Weekend were great...
Generous - talk about giving more than we paid for!! It was like an early Christmas as Joe lavished us participants with gifts of his CDs, courses and books. What a great visionary and wonderful icon in the self-help field. Thanks Joe I love you
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